Crying In The Country

Dark and heavy clouds slowly began to spread their wings across the country sky. She watched, as an unforgiving gray took its place over Hedge River. There is no mercy in the heart of a Southern storm.

 She knows better to run towards her front porch. But there, in the barren fields, she stands. She stands and she waits.  

She is no fool to these summer skies. The July sun has vanished. No signs of light left. Let the show begin….

 Her Auburn hair is thick with humid heat as the sky pounds aggressive thunder across the fields - making its power more known. The downpour arrives, but still, she stands. She stands and waits.

 Cicadas scream, and then they are silenced by hail. The hail smacks her. It only hurts a little…and then a little more. But still she stands and she waits.

 Lightning appears. Full shades of white strike the entire sky. The Hedge River pond is no longer calm. One after the other, the crackling of the lightning gets louder and chases towards her. She looks back at her front porch unsure of her next move. A mix of the summer heat and the harsh storm, have soaked every inch of her. She looks towards the eyes of the winds. Still, she decides, she will stand and she will wait.

 The rain is pounding. She cannot hear herself think. Her eyes open, and all she can see is a blur sight of the pond and the empty field she’s chosen to call home. Sarah can barely see, yet still she stands and she waits. One minute more she demands herself. The palms of her feet tighten up as she looks back at her front porch; deep breaths coming from her chest. She gazes ahead as the storm dances before her. She is not without fear. Her feet begin to move and she runs. The thunderous show staging in front of her; she runs head on.

 “Sarah!” She can hear in the far off distance. She does not look back.

 ‘Sarahhhhh!” She hears again, but her mind is not changed.

 She is whipped by the wind and clothed with mud, as she continues on. To the right of her, she can see it. - The sign that welcomed her just a couple of weeks before. The same broken down sign that welcomed her in this God-forsaken town…

 Welcome to Hedge River County

 The entire town stretches approximately three miles long. Rested in the middle of barren fields and broken country roads. In the summer, the sun rises with a strong hand that paints an orange blush across the horizon of the river. It does the same when it sets. The heat takes over, leaving no one untouched. In the winter, the town grows silent. Low whispers of snow gently speak; turning the pond slowly into ice. In the autumn and spring, Hedge River seeks to find its balance. But it is neither one of those seasons. This is not the season for balance. This is summer and summer comes early, and summer comes strong. July comes for us all…

There is a river – a small river but there is one. There is a pond, a dirty pond, but there is one. It’s brown and green water lay still and lifeless. There is a gas station – it never looks open, but it sure is. It’s the only one for miles on end. There is a local mart; a place to purchase all your basic necessities like food, water, batteries, and the usual house hold items one would need. There is a downtown that keeps the courthouse, post office, and the only bar that seems to solely attract older men with a lot of time on their hands and rowdy stories on their mind. It is a simple and quiet town this, Hedge River. No one cares to leave, and they certainly don’t care to hear about how you wish there was more to be offered. The most entertaining thing that took place was in the beginning of July, when a small, red headed young woman made herself comfortable in the house across the pond. 

 The House Across The Pond 

 “693 Runnings Ave, Hedge River is the address. It ain’t much, but it’s something. You can’t be picky, honey” Her Aunt Julie said bluntly. Sarah’s Aunt owned the home and had been trying to sell it for years. Not even the lowest offer could drive any desire to this home. Aunt Julie and her Husband haven’t lived in Hedge River for over a decade. They left as soon as opportunity presented itself, and made a new home in Ivy Springs, where Sarah is from.

 “It’s got all the basic functions: Electricity, running water, and gas. Should do you good. But I’m telling you, Sarah this house ain’t like your Mother. It pays no attention to what it looks like on the outside. It’s ugly as all hell, but you can stay there as long as you need”. Sarah thanked her Aunt and awkwardly tried leaning in for a hug.

  “Alright that’s it, Sweetie. Go on ahead. You have a long drive ahead of you now”.  That was the first time Sarah can remember hugging her Aunt. She took the paper with the address, and a few notes Aunt Julie made, along with the key to the house and set away on an almost two day drive to the middle of the country. This would work. She told herself. The country would be the place for her to get some things in order. This is what the young woman convinced herself of as she drove, for what felt like endlessly, across roads and highways she had never seen before. 

  The dark night sky and distant sound of insects greeted her as she drove across the town’s welcoming sign. “Welcome to Hedge River County” the letters read, as they laid flat against a half broken green sign barely hanging on the side of the highway.  She rolled down her car window and let the night air in as she drove slowly onto a patchy dirty road. The heat was instant and her exhaustion was starting to settle in. She continued on the road and finally found the pond her Aunt told her she would see. Straight on into the heat of the night, she rolled her car up to 693 Runnings Ave. 

 The house was old, rustic brown, with paint chippings falling off almost all sides of the place. The screen door was bolted shut with rust. Clearly no one has tried opening it in years. It made a loud screech and the crickets seemed to scream back louder. One bedroom, one bathroom, and a small kitchen and living room to accompany the two - this was a far cry from the home she grew up in. It had a small porch and old wooden floors with stained white walls. The house made all kinds of noises. Aunt Julie was right, it was no looker, but it would do. She searched the house slowly. Her bedroom was in the back of the house. Wooden floors, one small closet, and a giant window that looked out towards the first sign of what appeared to be a neighbor’s house. She can hear that crickets singing at the top of their lungs. The bed sheets looked stained and rusty. She didn’t bring much from her last place. This move was to be quick and simple.

 She dragged an old curtain out of the closet and began to hang it up on the giant window. The untamed weeds were scratching the bottom of the pane. She took a quick glance around and noticed a strong light coming from the house next door. A tall, old man with dark skin was glaring right at her through the window of his living room. Sarah froze, startled at the man across the way. His hand glued to his blinds, he kept a sharp gaze straight on her.  He did not blink. He did not once remove his focus from Sarah. This did not feel like the welcome she was looking for. The night was dark, the creatures were loud, and this man appeared to be too curious about her arrival.  He shut his blinds and turned off his light. Sarah immediately closed her curtain and put her hand on her chest. 

 Where the hell am I? She laid down on her new bed, in this old, run down house, in a whole new town in the middle of the country. Her head hit the pillow to rest and instantly, she thinks of her mother. 

 A change in the wind

 Soft sounds of the morning woke her up to a new sky. With her eyes wide awake, she stayed there flat on her back with the July heat covering her like a blanket. She hardly slept. It’s been eight whole days since she arrived at Hedge River and this was the usual routine ever since she got here. The heat showed no signs of ease when the sun went down, and through the giant window, the sun came towards her every morning. It waited for her it seemed. Sarah only left the house for groceries. She kept to herself and sat around her empty living room to fill her days. In these eight days, Sarah would know the frustration brought on by a run down home. Problem after problem, this house would give her.

    She rose up from the bed wearing her off white lace pajamas - her thin frame wearing them well. She tamed her curly hair by tying it in a lose braid, and began about her day. Stale and yellow grass sat proud outside her screen door. Tall bushes of weeds surrounded the Hedge River pond, the still water off in the distance of her home.  It was brown and dirty, but it was the closest thing she had to a view. Her mother would be horrified to know that Sarah spent most of her days sitting on her living room chair, staring out at the fields, with no matter to attend to.  

  The employees at the local mart were the closest to interacting with other people that she came to. Her neighbor, that man she seen her first night here, was around. Every day he made sarcastic comments about Sarah. His name was Mr. Tillman. She kept her distance from him, as he would laugh at a poor city girl’s attempt to manage life in the country. 

    Rosanna was her other neighbor. She was friendly, always saying hello to Sarah when she was around. Rosanna was a middle-aged woman, but that’s about all she knew. She left every morning and came home late every night.   

    The heat was impossible - a blazing 97 degrees with 90 percent humidity. No one walked around, no one bothered to step outside, which sent a certain quiet around the town. This type of quiet was not the quaint and peaceful quiet. It was the type of quiet that was odd and creepy. The only sound came from cicadas- sending what sounded like an electrical fuse throughout the streets. The sounds of bugs screaming kept Hedge River sounding busy.  Eight days, but it felt like months. Slow moving of the needle months. She stepped outside the porch with the heat slapping her across the eyes. 

 “You’re alive.” A sharp, irritated tone came from the right side of her house.

 She looked over to find Mr.Tillman sitting outside his porch. Eyes closed, head leaning back on his chair, he was facing in the exact direction of the sun. She said nothing.  The young girl did her best to ignore him as he continued to stick his nose in every Sarah’s move. 

 “I said you’re alive. Been cooped up in that house of yours for days. You ain’t botherin’ to say nothin’ to anybody.” He said, sternly. He was dark skinned, tall, and appeared to be in his late 50’s.  He wore roughed and yellow stained blue jeans and a white tank with old car oil stains on it.  

 “It’s so hot. There isn’t much to do anyways in this town.”  

 “Sure there is! “ He said sarcastically pointing to the empty roads.  “What brought you here in the first place?  Boyfriend broke your heart? Trying to prove to your friends that you can make it on your own? What possibly brings you to these parts of the country?”

 Sarah was annoyed by his questions already.  “I just moved here, nothing to it.” 

 “ Classic: a young woman coming out here to find herself. All the while abandoning any real sense of responsibility. Well…good luck.”  

 “Excuse you, but it’s actually none of your business!” Sarah said aggressively.  

 “It became my business when you moved next door.” He got up from his chair, stood up, and walked sharply back into his home.

 Sarah watched to make sure he wasn’t coming back out. Who does he think he is?She thought. How arrogant and rude he was. She knew, in the pit of her gut, not to trust him that night she saw him through the window.  She went back inside to put on a change of clothes.  As irritating as the start of her day was, she was not going to let it ruin her day. She wanted and needed today to be different. She stepped out from her porch and made her way to the pond. 

 Brown water filled the Hedge River pond. She walked around it several times to try to clear her head. There was nothing pretty about it. Nothing pretty about anything really, but it was better than sitting in her home for the eighth day in a row. As she sat down, she felt the sweat pouring out from all parts of her.  The grass was yellow and stale. 

 A brief memory of her mother swept through her mind. A time at the lake just her and Sarah. They stayed in a gorgeous lake cabin for a weekend.  It was one of her favorite times with her mother.  She remembered, because her mother was sweet. They played, talked, and even danced one night to funky music her mother listened to when she was young. Sarah loved it when her mother talked of her younger days. She liked to imagine her mother without bitterness and a jaded view. A jaded view caused by her father. 

 A slow, but sudden burn began to attack Sarah’s feet. “Jesus!” She called out, attacked by something that was latching onto her skin. She jumped, and screeched to find a dozen fire ants crawling all over her feet. Red and thick, they sunk their teeth into her skin, instantly leaving burning and itchy bumps all over her ankles. She smacked herself over and over until they were gone. Trails of red ants were moving along the pond. She continued to itch and smooth her burning bites.   

She began to walk the fields when she noticed the sky was different. A quick gloom began to widen as gray made a vast spread ahead. It was growing faster and bigger as she picked up the pace in her steps towards the house. It was full on dark gray all around her. Two big drops of water fell on her arm and several thick drops began to follow. The water was heavy, and the drops fell at random…She began to walk faster.         Winds began to howl so loudly; she can barely hear her neighbor calling out. 

‘Storm is coming!” The old neighbor man from this morning said, standing at his porch. Suddenly, it all came at once - massive rainfall and roaring winds were attacking her. She can barely see ahead, but all she knew was to run straight to her house. Eyes blurry, and heart racing, she made her way to her porch. Heavy breaths came from her chest as she saw her neighbor sitting calmly on his porch. She went inside and closed the front door and watched as the rain and hail covered the outside. It was so loud, and still, she can barely see much. The wind was growing, howling deeper and deeper.  Sarah thought she knew thunder and rain before, but this was no average storm. She can feel a slight shake every time the thunder sang. The lightning made a slow, and then hard crackling sound across the sky as chaos filled the air. She was still breathing heavy in her living room watching the storm with fear in her eyes. She couldn’t look away. The lights in her home began to dim off and on – creating a change in the lights. She looked up, and lightning struck so loud, she swore it hit her roof. Panic began to settle in. She dashed to her room, to find the lights out in the bedroom. She panicked some more as the wind grew stronger. 

 A loud and blaring siren took over her neighborhood. It sounded like an alarm blaring through the streets and the storm. She stood frozen in the middle of her bedroom. The sirens were running and the hail was pounding on her window. Lights dimmed harder until blackness settled in the room. All power in her home was officially gone as the storm continued to work. She sat there with her hands shaking, unsure what to do. She stood there for fifteen minutes until the sirens stopped and the storm was silenced. It vanished almost rapidly like the snap of a finger. She stood there shaken and confused as to what took place. She got up slowly, and walked to her kitchen to try to turn on the light. No light in her home would work. The clock on her stove was blinking. She walked towards her porch to see a clear as day sky outside her screen door. Her heart was still racing. She saw debris everywhere…sticks, leaves, and all other kinds of things were all over her car.  Her neighbor, Rosanna was sweeping giant leaves off her porch.

“You okay, baby!” She had bright pink lipstick and her hair was up in high bun.  

 “My power is out. What was that? Yes, I’m okay” Sarah said with a little shake left in her voice. 

 “Everyone’s power is out. God knows when it will be back.” A familiar voice said to her left. Mr. Tillman was back.

 “It was just a tornado warning, honey. The storm was just a little intense this time around.” Rosanna said almost cheerfully.  “They happen all the time, no need to worry” 

 How does one not worry about a storm like that? Sarah questioned. She was confused by her neighbor’s normalcy.  

“She ain’t from a place like this, Rose. Look at her, she scared right through her city girl bones” The old man said laughing.

 Sarah didn’t even turn around to look at him. “Oh you leave her alone, Mr. Tillman!” Rosanna teased. Rosanna looked playfully at Sarah and rolled her eyes jokingly at Mr. Tillman. “You’re alright honey! Just a storm, they pass quickly. That one was a small one too.”   

 The stove, refrigerator, and all lights were out. It didn’t take long to realize how much she couldn’t do without electricity. She called her aunt, but that wasn’t much help. “You’ll just have to wait until the lights come back on.” was her only advice. A now clear sky meant a quick walk to the local mart for canned foods.  On the floor of her living room, she ate kidney beans straight out of the can with saltine crackers. Her life quickly felt different. A large breath erupted from her chest and she continued to look outside. How clear and piercing the sun now was after the afternoon storm.  Just this morning she was sipping coffee slowly. And now she sits, unsure how to navigate a home with no electricity, and eating out of a can shaken by the heavy storm that made it’s way to Hedge River. 

    This was not the move that Sarah had in her mind. It was not Sarah’s plan to be beaten by the sun, bombarded by arrogant neighbors, attacked by bugs, and shaken by dangerous disasters. Hedge River, after only eight days, had gotten the best of her. She got up and packed her things. This would not be where she stayed any longer. She took one of her bags to her car, dusted off the debris and began to load. She was not sure where she would go next, but it sure as hell would not be this. 

 “Looks like you finally got yourself some plans today, lady.” Mr. Tillman said from his front porch

 Flustered and aggravated, Sarah snapped, “Would you leave me alone! “ She continued to throw her stuff in the car.

 “Oh come on, why you leaving now? You haven’t even made it ten whole days and you already out. The storm scare you dry?”

 “You know what? You have been watching and spying my every move since I got here and I’m tired of it. Please mind your business!”  

 Mr. Tillman didn’t say anything. He just smiled on his chair and lightly shook his head. “There’s gonna be another storm tonight. God knows how strong it can get. You better know how to drive in one.”

 The statement settled in, but she wouldn’t let it show on her face.  Was there really going to be another storm?  Just then, Rosanna came out and walked straight to Sarah’s car. Pink lipstick and a cigarette hung on her lips. “There is going to be another storm tonight, honey. If you’re gonna leave, you may as well leave in the morning. Come on, if you’re scared, you can stay with me” Rosanna’s hip was resting on the hood of Sarah’s car. 

 Sarah was exhausted. She hung her shoulders low and scowled her eyebrows. “It’s okay, Rosanna. Thank you. I think I’ll wait until the morning”. She took a quick glance at Mr. Tillman with the hopes that he wouldn’t see her stay. Sarah went back inside and laid flat on her bed. She laid and waited for the sun to finally go down- making her home dark.  

 A knock on her door startled her. Rosanna was standing there with three candles and a few matches in her hand. “You’ll need these,” she said, as she handed them over to Sarah.

 “Oh, thank you!” 

“Don’t thank me. Thank Mr. Tillman. He brought them over and asked if I can drop them off to you. Figured it will help to give some light. “

 “Oh” Sarah didn’t quite know how to respond. “Well, thank you” Rosanna walked off.

 Sarah lit her candles and rested her head on her pillow. A small gesture from her strange and irritating neighbor…a loud roar erupted from the sky. The heavy winds of the thunder appeared. Her candles brought a warm glow as the rain poured all over the country air. The sky pounded on her window. Sarah did not rest that night. Instead, she lay there, unable to sleep, not knowing what the storm would evolve into this time. She lay there and stared…at her borrowed candle from the old man next door.

 Someone new 

Two mornings later, the house finally shone bright with all the lights back on. The power was back along with the daring sun. Sarah got up quickly making sure every light in her home was indeed working. The stove was back, the refrigerator was up and running with spoiled food to spare.  In those two days, Sarah stood tight in her home like usual. She ate canned items, plain tuna sandwiches, and some apples. Her patience grew increasingly thin as her home was running down. It seemed now, only the lights in her home had worked. The water was running cold.  

    There were minimal interactions from Mr. Tillman; Sarah would sit on her porch until the rain appeared and then she quickly would head back inside. She never said thank you to him. Unsure why, there seemed to be this weird tension ever since he let her borrow the candles. Why it was that kindness made things awkward between two people was not something she understood. But that’s what it was. There was only one type of way to interact with him and now she had to think of a new way to speak to the old man. 

    The sun was back, the lights appeared, and she wondered if she would see more in her day. She stepped outside and sat on the stairs of her porch with her hot coffee in the scorching morning of July. 

 “Power is back.” The man said amongst the sound of a closing screen door. She turned around and saw Mr. Tillman walking outside. Same dress as usual – roughed jeans and white tank. Coffee in one hand, and his other in his pocket, he was standing looking out to the fields.

 “I wanted to say thank Y-“

 “Don’t bother” he cut her off gently. His eyes slightly shut as he shook his head.

 “They helped a lot for those two days” She said, desperately wanting him to know her appreciation.

“You ought to get yourself some flashlights and batteries if you plan to stick around this time.” He sat slowly in his chair, taking miniature sips from his mug.  

 “Thank you” She said as she looked ahead towards the pond.  Buying flashlights, this will give her something to do.  

  When Sarah was ten years old, her mother told her how to protect herself. She thought of this as she decided to walk down to the market. Miss Waters was beautiful. Thick, shiny, light brown hair, and green eyes made it impossible for people not to stare long. Both men and woman seemed to take instant notice every time she walked in the room. Sarah had all of her mother’s features, but she didn’t know how to walk with them the way her mother did.  Gabriella, Sarah’s mother, kept a sharp fence around herself.  Miss Waters trusted no one and cared for very little. There were a couple times when Sarah tried eagerly to climb her mother’s fence. But the more attempts she made, the more she began to see that building a fence of her own was the more reasonable route. 

    “Walk fast with your belongings in front of you!” her mother would say, as they walked around town. “Don’t ever take your money out in front of others. And when men call at you, keep your eyes looking straight ahead”. Sarah would just listen. She wondered how her mother would feel now, knowing she walks to the store alone, with nothing to protect her. She wondered what her mother thought about her living alone and taking supplies from old men… 

 The pond was thick brown after the storm and thick leaves flooded the rim of the water. It was fully covered by the sharp pierce of the sun. She picked up a couple of the leaves and dried them off. She liked the way they looked- some as big as her hand or bigger. She put them in her pocket and walked on back towards her house, thankful for the clear skies hanging above her.  Dinner alone would be on the agenda for the night. With the power back on maybe Sarah could make herself a decent meal – a meal to be proud of.  Mr. Tillman was planted in his chair on his porch like usual when she returned.  He was reading the newspaper with his eyes scowled, taking quick glances off the words of the paper. He wasn’t as vocal today. He was quiet, not making his usual comments about everything that Sarah was doing. Not that he was the warm and inviting type in the first place, but Sarah felt her presence was even more of a bother to him today. She didn’t bother to say anything to him. She kept on towards her quiet and rundown home to cook herself a dinner.  

    The night went on with her front door opened, leaving just her screen door shut. As odd as this may be, she enjoyed the sounds of the country night. The sounds of creatures in the fields and boiling water from her stove made the silence something she wanted to interact with.  She grabbed her plate of food and sat on her front porch to eat it. The wood of her porch was chipping away. She sat on her stairs; slightly proud of the dinner she made, and looked out at the sight before her. For the first night in almost two weeks, Sarah, for even in the slightest moment, felt calm. As she ate, she remembered the time her mother told her the news that Sarah’s father would not be coming back. 

    It was morning, and her mother woke her up stern and swift. Sarah had seen the absence of her father coming long before he made the run. She was eleven years old and even then, her memory of him was as distant as he was. At eleven years old, Sarah laid in her bed doing her best to fall asleep to the screaming, name calling match-taking place down stairs. There was no time of heartbreak for Sarah when it came to the abandonment of her dad. She couldn’t even remember if she felt sad or not. 

     Miss Waters never talked to her about how they met, and her mother most certainly never told her about the wonderful day Sarah came into the world…like most mothers did with their daughters.  Her back was flat and her green eyes were planted to the ceiling of her bedroom as the sound of glass smacked the hollow walls of their home. Seconds later, she heard the front door slam shut for the last time - followed by silenced. Her father was gone, and the very next morning, Miss Waters went back to work and became hell bent on becoming what most women become when their lover leaves: bitter, cold, but filthy rich.  

    And so it was, Gabriella and Sarah moved to Ivy Springs after the hard earned revenge money. It was just the two of them in their big white house in the springs- the two of them, plus their chef and their two housemaids. 

    And here Sarah sits, in a run down house, fending for herself in a rural town with storms and opinionated neighbors. Her job was average back home in Ivy Springs. She went to the local Community College for communications just like all the other young women her class did. She worked for the Ivy Journal, lived with her mother, dated a few nice men, and had a few friends she knew few years, but never kept them close. Playing it safe was the method of her mind and life and that’s exactly what she did. Cautious, easy, and simple became the pursuit of her desires. A nice man broke up with her once and she couldn’t remember how she felt about it. Friends came and went, and Sarah told herself she liked to be alone anyway. This was her rational for most circumstances.  It was convenient in her world. No one was bothered – not the people around her and most certain not herself. 

    For as long as her chef and two housemaids worked in her home, she could hardly recall one conversation with them. Mostly, it was just eye contact between the four of them when Miss Waters would get on their case about dinner not being made on time. Or when fresh flowers were missing from the dining table for breakfast every morning. The out of control request from her mother bonded them in those small seconds, but that was about it. 

    Sarah remembers one morning; on a slow Saturday, her mother was still home wearing her white satin robe. Miss Waters had bought the same one for Sarah, so they could match. Sarah thought her mother was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. As she walked down her staircase, the sun was hitting her mother slightly as the natural light gave Miss Waters a warm glow. She thought this could be nice…coffee with her mother, in the easy smooth light of the morning. Sarah sat down at the table as her mother was reading the newspaper. Their Chef poured them both a cup of fresh hot coffee.

    “Are you not going in the office today?” Sarah asked, as her mother didn’t lift an eye from the paper. “No, I figure about damn time they learned to manage without me” Sarah admired her beauty as she continued to talk. 

    “I’m looking to re-do the floors of the house. Going shopping today to get some ideas going” She took a sip of her coffee. Again, not once looking up from the paper or looking at Sarah. Their chef walked in waiting to grab the dirty mug from Miss Waters.

    “ I got a job interview today at the Ivy Journal. It’s my first interview for a real job.” Her tone half excited, but hoping to not disturb her mother. She wanted to share the good news. Gabriella quickly put the paper down and took a sharp look at Sarah. “Please tell me you’re going to tame that hair of yours? Braid it or something, but please make sure you look presentable this is important, Sarah” A slight slouch in Sarah’s shoulders began to form. “I will,” she said simply. 

    “Congratulations by the way” Gabriella said awkwardly and quick. Their Chef placed their breakfast on the table and took a quick glance at Sarah. Through the look in his eyes, he knew what she felt. He knew because he had seen it for years. They both looked at each other and Sarah thought it was nice to know, that he too, has felt the sharp and cold winds that blew from her mother’s mouth. That was the most connected Sarah had ever felt to someone. That was also the last time she risked sharing good news in attempt to connect with the woman who raised her. 

 Dinner was gone and she set her plate aside and stared across the fields of the open the land. Mr. Tillman went inside a while ago and this time, he shut both his front door and the screen door. Time of the sunset was beginning to set. Orange stripes and amber colored clouds were painted across the backdrop of the pond. The sun set slowly and the sun set late in Hedge River. Though the summer sun brought a vicious heat battle, it made up for it in the watercolor sky as the sun rises, and especially when the country sun sets. In this small moment, Sarah wished she had someone to share it with. The sun vanished and she sat there, taking in the sounds of the country night. Crickets, cicadas, and the hymns of the frogs surrounded the open fields and made a melody as the humidity layered thick on the grass.  A half smile shaped around her face. 

 Within minutes, a light drop of water fell on her leg. It was one, and it came out of nowhere. Rain? It was the clearest day and there was no sign of a storm today. She thought, as she questioned if she was imagining things. Two more drops came. The drops were big and falling about a minute apart. This would not be the breezy rain she remembered from the city. These were the drops of a southern storm on its way. She got up and went straight inside and slammed the screen door.  A huge roar from the sky blared across the town. Sarah stood frozen and wide-eyed, still taken back in fear by the parade of the rain and thunder. White flashes lit up the field as lightning entered the show. She looked up as she felt the dim of her lights in her living room. Not again, please just stay calm.  She grabbed her one flashlight and got her candles ready. She looked out the window to see Mr. Tillman still had his lights on. She can see him sitting in his giant reading chair in the living room watching TV as if nothing was taking place outside. 

    She panicked as she wondered if she was the only one who panicked. The sirens rang again, sending the signal that the storm has carried into something big. Still, she stood there frozen as her lights dimmed heavier now. Walk to the bathroom she told herself. Rosanna had told her that small piece of advice after her first storm experience. She sat on the floor in her bathroom as the sirens, sheets of rain, and thunder sang their ballad. Lights turned off and she grabbed her flashlight. The only flashlight she had. This storm felt different and scarier this time. This time, it showed up in the night. Everything unwanted always shows up in the night. 

    The sirens yelled louder and she can hear the whistle of the winds piercing through her front door. Anger erupted from her bones; this would be the last time she slept in Hedge River she declared! She looked out the bathroom window and fear trickled in as she saw gusts of dirt spinning low on the ground. Branches and leaves spun in mid air and swept through the side of her house. This was not a normal southern storm, this was increasing into something strong and forceful, and something she did not want to be a part of. 

    Soon, the low gust of dirt had fully whipped in the air. The storm and the wind picked up trees and uprooted them from the ground.  A loud clash of glass came from outside her front door. This was not happening she begged. She covered her ears and crouched lower in her bathroom; too afraid to see what was happening around her. She sat there in the dark, with the thunder screaming it’s song, as she clamped onto her flashlight; angry with herself for coming to this God forsaken country in the first place.  

An aggressive knock was slamming on her front door. “Sarah! Sarah, open up now!” who the hell was that? “Sarah! It’s me, Mr. Tillman. Are you okay?”  With her hands and legs shaking, she somehow got herself up to let him in. Soaking wet and dirt in his hair, he came inside breathing heavy from his chest. 

    “It’s a tornado. It’s whipped through half the street. Your car is smashed. Are you okay?” My car was smashed, that was the heavy glass sound. She stood there with her mouthed closed, but her eyes wide.   “ Two more of these babies are coming. My radar signal just warned me. Come with me.” He took her hand as he led her to her bedroom and grabbed her mattress. 

“Take this side,” he said, as he was grabbing the other. Even in the midst of giving orders, Mr. Tillman felt calm and capable. We’re going to place this over us as we wait in the bathroom. This is the proper way to handle a storm.” They both crouched down with the mattress above them. Sarah was silent. Unable to truly take in what was happening. He took out three flashlights and gave her one. Two more tornados were passing. With the sirens, thunder, and crackling of the lightning, she had a split second of recognizing the fact that Mr. Tillman, ran through the storm to assist his city born neighbor in making sure she was safe.

    She felt as though someone new was sitting with her on her bathroom floor. The leaves flying in the wind were starting to calm and the sound of the storm was digressing into something stable. The sirens stopped and silenced filled the house.   “Alright now, we’re cleared out” Mr. Tillman said removing the cover of the mattress. Sarah’s hands and legs were still shaking in fear. “Boy do you look like death!” Mr. Tillman teased. He reached his hand out to help her up. “I’m leaving tomorrow!” She shouted at him. She couldn’t take one more day living in this field of dirt roads and storms from hell.  “Not with your car you ain’t. You ought to find a new plan if you’re fixin to leave” He walked to her room to put her mattress back in place. The storm was officially done and the sounds of the country night were back.

   My car! She had forgotten about the tree that took out her vehicle. She didn’t want to go outside to look at the damage. “How bad is it?” she asked.

“I hope you didn’t have any memories attached to that thing, because it is out. You better call your insurance first thing in the morning” Mr. Tillman was lighting the candles around her home. “Well then, I’m getting a train out of this place. I can’t take one more day here.” She walked to the front screen door and saw a giant tree lying on her car. Right in the middle of the ceiling, the car was almost split in half. “And what exactly are you so tired of young lady?” Mr. Tillman asked in his usual fed up tone. “You have done nothing but stay put in this house since you have moved in. So what? A few storms have touched you and you think that’s your sign to leave?”  

 She paused, bothered by his question, but aware of the help he provided during the storm. Mr. Tillman placed a candle on the mantle of her fireplace - the fireplace that hasn’t worked in over ten years. He sat down on her chair, wiped some of the left over dirt off his shirt. and looked at her; waiting for his answer.  She turned from the scene of her car and looked at him and sat down on the floor, legs crossed. 

“I just wasn’t expecting all this, all this…struggle:  the heat, the run down home, and the storms. All of it. I came here to just…I don’t know, get away.” She brushed her ponytail and put her head down.  

 “And you think all the rest of us are just waiting, eager for the storms? Ain’t no one in this town just sitting on their floor ready for the winds to wipe them out. You ain’t the only one who has experienced these things, child. It ain’t no fun for any of us, but were still here. Tell me, what brought you to Hedge River, so far from home ”

 Eyebrows scowled and head down, she wasn’t sure how to answer.  She wanted to ask him why he was still here, in her living room in the dark of the night, after the hell of the storm came through. Why was he here, asking her questions and coming to her help? Why was this any of his business? She paused and turned her head to the front door, unable to look at him. “I came to just get away, to clear my head of some matters.” 

 “What kind of matters, child?” he asked, warmly. “I had been in another city, prior to this. About five hours out of my hometown in Ivy Springs – a bigger city full of people. I went there to get away, but it wasn’t working out, so I came here. I came here hoping to just find some damn peace”  

 “To get away from what?

 She looked at the ground, at the old wood floor and took a breath in. “The death of my mother. She died unexpectedly a little over a year ago. A car accident took her out. She was the only parent I had. Father left when I was eleven. It was just us two.  We didn’t exactly have a close relationship. In some ways, I felt like I hardly knew her.  In other ways, she was all I knew.” She was surprised by how much she shared with him.  

 He sat there, comfortable in his chair, listening and taking in all that the red haired young girl had to say. “I didn’t want to stay in Ivy Springs. I just wanted to get out of town. A couple months after the funeral, I packed up and left to the city, but it felt like chaos. That’s when I called my Aunt and decided on a new place. And now I’m here, in this empty town.”

 Mr. Tillman kept his gaze on Sarah. He sat back in his chair with his palm resting on his face. “Sounds like a lot of running.”

 “I’m not trying to run. I’m just looking for a place to give me a peace of mind.”

 “No child, you’re runnin. You’ve been here more than ten days and in all those ten days, you haven’t found no peace of mind. You think that’s all because of this place? Because of some speed bumps along the way? Aint got nothing to do with that. It’s got everything to do with you. You’ve been looking for an escape and that’s your problem.”

 “That’s not true! She squirmed. “I just couldn’t do it at my home and I couldn’t do it in the city.”

 “And now you can’t do it here. Sounds like you just don’t know how to be with your true self. Your true self that doesn’t know how to face your loss.  You keep hoping all these outside surroundings will do it.  New place after new place, but it ain’t been working. You’re too damn numb to actually go through anything.” Pride swept over his voice as he waved his hands at the empty dark field. “When was the last time you even felt anything, kid?”

 Anger flared through her eyes and she bit her tongue tight. “Who the hell do you think you are Mr. Tillman?” She said low and cold. “Since the second I got here, you’ve  made comments about me, stuck your nose in places it shouldn’t be, and now you’re sitting in my living room saying things you don’t even know about.” 

 “There we go! Proud that he got something out of her. “I know more than you think, young lady.”

 She looked at him dead cold.  

“I lost my wife over a decade ago - on this day, July 17th  in fact. It was just us two; kind of like you and your mother, but we actually liked each other. No children, just us, in this beautiful town, in that home next door building our life together. Lord took her from me out of the blue that summer.” 

 “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”  Head down and slightly ashamed, she stared at the wooden floor. 

 “Ain’t no mind. You couldn’t have known”. He said gently. “Ten years and I can say this, you ain’t going to get through this by avoiding it, child. I’ve tried and it ended up just making me bitter.”

 “As if you’re some joy now” She teased. They both laughed lightly.

 “Once I decided to face my pain, I cried like a baby! Cried at everything: commercials, songs, silence, and the grass even. I was so exposed, but I was healing and it felt right.”

 “How do I do this?” Genuinely searching for an answer.

 “You start by staying and not running off to the next town just because a couple storms tried to take you out. The next place will have new waters and if you can’t learn to deal through the waters, you can’t call yourself brave. Bravery is not for the numb, Sarah. Bravery is for those who walk through the storms with their hearts open, choosing faith no matter what the skies brings. You can cry; it won’t make you weak.”

 Tears spilled from her eyes.  Sarah couldn’t remember the last time she cried. There were no tears when her father left, when her boyfriends said good-bye, when her mother met her with a cold heart, not even at the funeral did she cry. This was how she moved through to the next phase of life – escaping and falling into the next thing that life presented her. She would not be the woman to aggressively get rich to hide her pain like her mother, but she would possess the same distance and ice cold tone; a  tone that would be directed at herself.  Sarah now understood and as tears began to well up behind her green eyes, she felt uncomfortable, but safe all at the same time.  

 “Go on dear, it’s okay”  

 “Why did you help me, Mr. Tillman? The candles, the flashlights, risking your life in the storm to come help me. What’s in it for you?  

 “Nothing is in it for me. I just knew the second I saw you unpacking in that house; there was something in your heart that needed something. I know there is something in you that is strong. I know a hardened heart when I see one. And I know a brave heart when I see one.”

 She smiled. “You weren’t afraid to come here in that storm”

 “Course I was! The storm wasn’t going away though. Once I went through it, it didn’t feel all that big to tell you the truth.”

 Her throat tightened up and her voice cracked with tears as she thanked him. She thanked him for the help. She thanked him for the comfort. She thanked him for the reminder, and she thanked him for the push – a push towards a new sky.

 The sun was beginning to shape as she noticed a gentle touch of orange coming up over the land. The country was tough on her, but she loved the rising of the Hedge River sun. Mr. Tillman was staring out the door with a smile on his face. They both sat there, with hearts smiling as the peace of a new sun was making way.  Tears were still spilling softly out of her eyes. A new day was setting before them. 

 Sarah felt the warmth of the older man before her, and felt a new sky shaping in the horizon. The storm was over, it was behind her. Bright clouds would soon welcome her into the morning. 

 “I better get goin” Mr. Tillman said, as he got up from the chair slowly. A few stains of raindrops hung on his shirt.

 “Mr. Tillman…do you mind if I ask how your wife died?”

 He walked towards the front door and placed his strong, but wrinkled hands on the screen. He stepped out and placed his back towards the barren fields of July.

  “A storm – a tornado much like this one. Have a good morning, Sarah. Get some rest.”  The man who was once a stranger left her home and set forth on a new morning. 

 Clouds full of Gray 

 Ten days have passed since the tornado hit Hedge River. Ten days since Mr. Tillman came to her home. Ten days of crying, of remembering, of buying more furniture for her home. Ten days of getting up and making peace with herself

 She was unsure how long she would stay, but as long as she was here, she would now make her days full with her heart. Mr. Tillman and Sarah sat on the porch of their homes almost every morning. They’d make their own coffee and share their lives with one another. Often times, it was Sarah going on and on about her father, about her life in Ivy Springs, and about her mother. She would cry often to him in those ten days, and Mr. Tillman would sit there on his chair listening, but ready to give her the truth and warmth she needed.  It was releasing, it was strange, but her heart was coming back to life the more she did it. The country sun hanging in the background, the humidity clothing every inch of her, she took walks to the local mart. She had dinner with Rosanna and hung pictures in her room.  

Music played as she continued to hang photos and lights in her bedroom. A new place she was making. As she walked to the kitchen, she heard it. A gentle light roar coming from the clouds. She paused, making sure she was hearing right. A dim of gray flashed across the floor of her living room. She noticed Mr. Tillman still sitting on his porch with his head facing towards the direction of the clouds. She walked towards her screen door as one of her lights flickered. The country was making way for a storm. She knew it. Sarah stood at her screen door as the first crack of lightning made a visit. The field turning slowly to black as rain began to shower from the skies. Mr. Tillman was still on his porch. 

 She put her hand on the door, the same door she used to shut the country rain out. But this time, her heart was new. The storm paraded heavier as she opened the door and set foot outside. Mr. Tillman looked at her. She looked back at him with wide eyes. She stepped out, letting the hail smack her as thunder called her forward.

 All this crying in the country and now, she’s made brave.  

 Two steps off her porch and Mr. Tillman calls her name a few times. She does not answer him. He watches, as the young girl he met this summer stands there - with her head high and eyes locked on the lightning.

 He knows. The thunder sings…she runs, face on towards the river.

Let the show begin…

All is clear. In one fast minute, the storm, all at once has finished. A deep breath rises from her chest. She is standing, looking at Hedge River in pure glory. Thick amber wings stretch across the sky. The empty fields have never looked stronger.  The sun always rises back up. Gray is gone, and she is proud. Proud, that in the midst of the chaos of the storm, Sarah Waters chose to stand; to stand and wait long enough to see a strong clear sky before her. She now begins to cry. She wails, but her heart is widened. 

Not all things get destroyed in the storm.